“But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and when he began to sink, he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out with His hand and took hold of him, and *said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:30
Many times in my life, Monday would roll around after a weekend of binging and unhealthy eating, and I felt the heavy weight of failure setting in hard on my shoulders. I created a healthy fear of a 12 X 12 metal and glass contraption called a scale. Why did I fear it? I feared that number on that device would show my true worth. The lower the number, the more worthy I was as a person. If it went up, I told myself I had botched another attempt at weight loss and was not worthy of happiness. I would beat myself up verbally in a way I would never speak to another person. I couldn’t love myself when I failed.
How does Jesus want us to handle our fears, doubts, and failures? Love first, and assess what needs to improve later. In Matthew 14:30, Jesus didn’t start with the replay of what Peter did wrong. Instead, Jesus immediately reached out and pulled Peter out of the water. I imagine Jesus smiling and shaking his head and Peter with soft words, not as a hard slapdown. As if he told Peter, “Dude, why didn’t you trust me? I got this. I had you. Did you really think I’d let you drown?”
I have seen myself in Peter’s position, drowning in my failure, only to have Jesus pull me up out of the waters of fear, self-doubt, and that gnawing feeling of worthlessness. We need to remember that Jesus always has us. He is all we need to overcome our fears, failures, and doubts. Even if we give up on ourselves, He never gives up on us. Even in our failures, He loves us. Romans 5:8 tells us, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
We need to love ourselves through our mistakes and trust God to lead us on top of the water with Him and not drown below the surface on our own.
Lord, thank you for keeping me safe from the waves of fear, doubt, and failure and keeping my head above the water. Your strong love keeps me afloat when my inner critic wants to drown me. Help me to remember that You are all I will ever need. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
